Big Perv got a dinger
And two foul balls
My junk smells like some franks
And a urinal stall

A pair of delicacies
That smell like old cheese
Pound town triple crown
Burnt skin on my knees

I’m the Wade Boggs of rap
60 beers to a flight
I’m George Brett out in Vegas
Shit my pants last night

Got a teeny tiny hog
On a big bag of cash
It’s kind of like a little piglet
that’s rolling in trash

Storming barns like the Babe
I’m fucking birds like Randy Johnson
Just like that they’re on their back
And then I’m hittin it raw son

I’m betting on this track
I’m gonna bet every show
I’m betting on this motherfucker
Like my man Pete Rose

I’m rap’s Ripkin to Gehrig
I’m rap’s Ripkin to Banks
I’m rap’s Ripkin to Camden
For the United States

Ichiro Suzuki
Hall of fame on lock
Career was hotter than two rats
fucking in a sock

I hate the pussy cheaters
No respect for the game
Asterisk out Barry Bonds’
Whole fucking name

Do we have enough ink?
I’m gonna guess that we do
Let’s tag McGwire The Rocket
A-Rod and Sosa too

The Babe’s the Sultan of Swat
But I’m assaultin’ the twat
First ballot bean flicker
And I’m calling my shot

Put me in coach
Cuz i’m slummin tonight
I’m all up in the hostess
In the back of the flight

I took the seventh inning stretch
And i stretched it till it was wrecked
I blew her back out having sex
And i fixed her fucking neck

I got my fingers in the box
And my tongue is on deck
And my dick is in the hole
Who’s gonna clean up this mess

We got a grand fuckin slam
My balls are hittin her belly
Her titties doing the wave
Her legs are turning to jelly

Dump a wad on my fist
knuckleball to the cunt
It works fine from behind
But i prefer from the front

Moneyball in the bed
I’m all up in the spreadsheets
Couldn’t get Brad Pitt
Big Pervert is too cheap

Talkin stats at the club
ERA RBI
And now the guys are all hard
And the ladies are dry